Non, je ne regrette rien.

Do you ever lay down to fall asleep but your brain decides to bring up every bad past decision you ever made or dumb thing you’ve ever done? It happens to me quite a lot, but it doesn’t bother me like my brain is hoping it will. When I was in college, I was really into French films. I would watch them all the time, even keeping them on in the background while I studied. If you haven’t seen “A Very Long Engagement” you are missing out on a great movie but that wasn’t the film that stuck out to me the most. The movie I watched and rewatched was “Le Vie en Rose”. This movie is the biography of Edith Piaf’s life. Édith_Piaf_914-6439Piaf was played by Mario Cotillard and she ended up winning an Oscar for her performance.  Piaf was born into poverty in France during World War I and rose to international stardom through her amazing singing voice, acting skills, and songwriting ability. Along the way she had some stumbles including the death of her child at a young age, the death of her first husband in a plane crash, and a horrible car accident leading her to be addicted to pain killers and alcohol which was only worsened by two more car accidents. Her life was cut short due to the damage of her addiction and she died at the age of 47 in 1963. In 1959/1960 she was presented with the song, “Non, je ne regrette rien“. When she heard it for the first time she said it was fantastic and formidable. She knew it was the song she was looking for and would be one of her greatest successes. The song was about not regretting anything that has happened to you, not the good things or the bad things. Everything that has happened, happened for a reason and shaped the person she would become.

Anytime I remember something really dumb from my past, I almost always think “Non, je ne regrette rien”. I mean there are a lot of dumb, petty, shitty, awful, sad, etc. things that I have happened to me. High school was pretty awful for me. I had shitty experiences with friends but ended up graduating with a few good ones. I had boyfriend problems, that led to a brief mental health issue my sophomore year. I had illnesses a-plenty, mostly involving my stomach. I fell in and out of love a couple of times, almost always for the wrong guy which was something that continued into my college years. I even had people tell me to kill myself, including an online poll in how I should do it. But, if those things hadn’t have happened, I would not be the person I am today. I would never found a passion in history and museums, I never would have gotten Opie, or met Tyler and gotten Percy. My life would probably be so different and, honestly, a lot darker if I had let all of those mistakes wear down on me. So instead I regret nothing.

Even now, I make mistakes but instead of letting them nag me, I laugh them off. Even if they do nag me, which there have been a few, I have a great guy right next to me pushing me up so that I can laugh them off. I’ve begun focusing more on the good things I have in my life. And I always remember to not regret a single thing!

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